Monday, July 8, 2013 3:40 AMAm feeling horribly insecure and scared about going to uni in a few weeks.
Im afaid of not having any friends ._. Because people always say that it's hard to make friends when you don't go for camps and such. Of course that isn't always the case,but for a shy/quiet/introverted/not all that friendly person like me,it might turn out to be so, perhaps?
I really dread that scenario.

I haven't signed up for any camps due to work,and the faculty one starts on 9th July so too late :/ I guess it's my fault for not really paying attention to these things, but then work kind of came first in the previous few weeks D:

There are still a few camps available for me to sign up, mainly the interest group camps,but Im not all that interested in those,honestly.
And hall camps are still open of course,since the allocation results aren't out yet, I probably will go for that if I eventually decide to stay in hall.
Speaking of hall, I took the plunge and selected the assign random roommate option in the application form, since I don't know many friends going to NTU in the first place,and the ones that are are all rooming with someone else/not staying in hall.

So yeah Im feeling pretty very apprehensive at the moment D:
Also,Im still wondering if the school informs you of your new roommate's identity when they release the allocation results,especially in a case like mine?


Not too sure of what the near future holds for me,but I really hope everything turns out more or less alright. Fate works in funny ways,after all, and this holds especially true when it comes to the job I just ended last week.

It took me quite a while to find the job, partly because I was picky, and partly cause I think my agent ain't very good(sorry but I really think that's true). The 2 interviews that I went for didn't yield any results, and I came to work for my company because they didn't require any interviews and just accepted me based on my (measly, practically non-existent) resume.

The first time I stepped into the warehouse(yes,warehouse), I would never have imagined myself to be able to stay for so long. And I never imagined I would like the people there so much,and miss them even more.

Work did begin with a very rocky start, especially with transportation issues and getting lost in industrial Jurong,but things did work out after the first week or so ^^ I never dreaded going to work any day, unlike my prevous 6 weeks stint in a well-known coffee chain as a barista, where I dreaded heading off to work nearly all the time,mainly due to a certain manager that really didn't like me much(and the feeling was mutual).

I really miss my colleagues at the warehouse now(though I just ended work last Friday), and while not having to wave up at the crack of dawn on weekdays(enabling me to stay up to ridiculous hours like these) is great, I don't actually feel very happy about leaving work at all. I honestly don't really know why I harbour such strong feelings for these people, given the age gap and difference in backgrounds/education level(I feel like Im sounding snobbish here...), but I really like them a lot. Im not sure if they feel the same way and miss me just as much as I do them, but I hope that they do! ;) They're all really good people, and 他们对我这个小妹真的很好, so in a way Im grateful that the 2 previous interviews I went for didn't accept me, or I would never have met my colleagues at the warehouse. It makes me sad that I won't be seeing them pretty much ever again, or at best very,very rarely.

But then, as I said, Fate works in funny ways,doesn't it? May everything turn out well~

Monday, July 1, 2013 2:11 AMI realised that I really do enjoy coding, despite the times when it makes me feel like tearing out my hair in frustration. Thursday, March 7, 2013 6:59 PM
Im nearly in uni now(if I get in), and I still fit in the t-shirt I wore in primary school. My mom just pointed out this fact to me, adding that I haven't grown. Wednesday, March 6, 2013 2:01 AMPentool selection is really not doing any favours for my eyesight,nor my neck.
I keep squinting at the computer, even though the image is zoomed in like 300%... And my neck kinda aches now.
Im still absolutely horrible at the pentool. Most likely because I've done absolutely no practice on it before.Hardly,anyway.

I have...25 more days to get a portfolio together, and pray hard that I get in. I've hardly done anything,and sometimes I just can't find any sort of motivation to fuel me. And sometimes I panic quietly in my brain because 25 DAYS how can I possibly finish? I don't even have enough ideas for artwork(what passes as artwork at least ._.) to fit in the requirements.

I need more faith,I need more faith in myself even though I really can't draw well, or even come up with convincingly good artwork. I HAVE to try, and hope for the best, because I don't want to feel regret in the future. 

Saturday, March 2, 2013 2:25 AMWell,today was the release of A-level results aka Doomsday as I've been calling it in my texts to friends. The world didn't end though.

My thoughts on my results,you ask?
I actually did better than I initially expected, really. I got the A for Math I REALLY REALLY wanted.All those Saturdays going back to school/staying back after school for remedial wasn't wasted yay ^^ The rest of my subjects...I wasn't expecting much really. Am (really quite)pleased about my B for Lit and GP though! :* My essay for GP was so so so bad,that I thought I'd get a D for it but...maybe my Paper 2 helped! And I've nearly always gotten S/U for Lit in school,so yay ^_^

I did do pretty badly for Geog and Econs,but........
I GOT A FOR MATH OMG SO HAPPY. Am really super grateful to Mrng and Guosheng ^_____^

Wondering whether to apply for NTU ADM,cause its like the only way I can pursue design and stuff I want to do in a local uni, if not my parents will have to spend tons of money sending me overseas D:
Firstly though,I need to submit a portfolio that requires me to DRAW. I cannot draw,oh man,what to do?
:/ Realised the bad thing about me is that a lot of the time I don't even want to try something because of fear of a bad outcome.
I should try right? Y'know,go after whatever it is I want

I do have other considerations though:Im afraid that even if I get in,what if I can't cope??? I know there'll be core modules like drawing in the first year,and well..........I don't know. >< What if I can't make it in ADM?
What if,what if,what if...... Thursday, February 28, 2013 2:26 AMHello again.
The blogskin has been under construction for how long now?  A month?
I've been meaning to work on it for so long,but.. I've been too lazy to start really.
Or...I don't know.Something's stopping me from starting,and its definitely not for lack of time ._.
I just....cannot visualize exactly what I want and where I want everything to be.
Usually I scribble the general plan of a layout on post-its, but this time the scribbles don't seem to satisfy what I want to do!

I think Im too afraid to just trial and error my graphics until I get it right(the way I want it to be).I really hate backtracking/doing over stuff, and that kinda stops from starting in the first place :/


Anyway wanted to talk(blog?) about something that happened today. I was walking past the Orchard MRT station after exiting the escalator from B1 when this stranger approached me and said he was from some modelling agency. Basically he asked for my name and number so they could contact me. I wanted to just give my email but in the end I warily wrote down my number on his pad :/ I walked away feeling flattered,I guess? Who wouldn't right? But also suspicious because my mother has drilled into me the need to be suspicious of strangers/scams and such.

So I found out that he's from Create Talents agency after looking at the card he gave me. I did my research on it just now, and well judging from the comments many have posted online, it's 90% a scam xD Apparently you have to pay the agency money to get a portfolio done so that the agency can go source for jobs for you.I read the forums and stuff,many others have spent a few hundreds on their portfolios, but have yet to get any sort of modelling jobs.Haha I had my suspicions from the moment the guy approached me.Plus there is no way I consider myself model pretty. Kind of regret giving my number, but oh well I'll see how it goes. It'd be fun to ask them some awkward questions if they call up ehehehe,perhaps I should prepare some! 8D

The thing is, how come such an agency hasn't been shut down yet if there're so many cases of people being scammed? I don't understand...


By the way,Regina Spektor=love <3 nbsp="" p=""> Monday, January 28, 2013 1:24 AMThe more I think about it the angrier I get.

Its not even MY work!??!!?!?!/!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!/!?!

1:14 AM
I HATE YOU

That's a few hours of work gone down the drain.

Why on earth did the document turn out completely blank just when I was about to send it off?!?!?!?!?!

WHY!?
I saved so many times while working on it!!








Im feeling so incredibly furious I want to just explode with anger. I really,really REALLY REALLY feel like screaming at something,anything,everything.
Am being a crazy abusive keyboard/laptop owner.